Revenge of the Comment of the Day

A new treatment for cancer? | MetaFilter

You can say what you want about snake oil, but once I rubbed it on my snake it completely stopped the squeaking.

Comment of the Day

knives in bed, rocks in head | MetaFilter

Also, there is a condition whereby some people achieve great success from humble beginnings, believe that they did it totally on their own, and so expect that everyone else can do the same with no assistance needed. There’s a similar thing with addiction — addicts who get themselves clean and find themselves looking down on the “weak” ones who have more trouble.

Quote of the day

Jesus who? | MetaFilter

One wonders why the God in the Bible, who created and controls the entire universe, was so fixated on such a geographically limited area of this planet, and only during a very brief window of time.

People want to live their lives according to what a bunch of crazy, middle-eastern religious zealots said 2000 years ago? I don’t even trust the crazy, middle-eastern religious zealots of today.

Creative Use of Language Dept.

The Kansas City Star reports on local health code violations at area restaurants. The citations by the health department come in a sprightly variety, from

Found a dead roach under a display case.

Or

Raw and cooked meat on the same tray

To

Kitchen manager failed to wash hands after throttling a busboy, then resumed preparing egg salad.

One of those may have been made up by me.

In the interest of fairness, the paper routinely asks a manager or owner for comment, and those comments generally come in two styles — a simple

The owner had no comment.

Or something a little more fancy-footworkish like

We take very seriously the safety and welfare of our customers, and we are confident that all the problems have been addressed, and we look forward to having the health inspector back in the restaurant as soon as she stops shaking.

In one case, the reporter said

A manager discontinued a call asking for comment.

I wasn’t in the room or anything, but I imagine that this was a polite — non-actionable — way of saying “The manager hung up on me.”

In these tense times, I have a feeling that an ever-larger portion of the nervous workforce is adopting a keep-your-head-down-and-cover-your-behind posture. I should point out that, depending on your job description, such a posture may be a violation of the health code. You do what you have to do.

Our friend television

Television is like a good friend who comes into your home and shows you wonderful things, teaches you about nature, shows you magic tricks, tells you captivating stories — and then, when you least expect it, pulls a brochure out of his pocket and tries to sell you pain killers, cheese, razor blades and cars.  And you don’t kick him out because you want to see how the story comes out.

Snark of the day

Shoebox

It’s opening weekend for the new “Star Trek” movie, so you better hope you don’t need any tech support for the next few days.

Swine flu nomenclature issue resolved

Since some people are getting pretty aerated about the proper label to put on the current flu outbreak, I have a suggestion.  If it does turn out to be some kind of weird amalgam of swine flu, bird flu and people flu, I propose we call it BrundleFlu.

If you don’t recognize the reference, don’t worry.  Just be afraid.  Very afraid.

Comment of the Day

From a MetaFilter post about laughing babies, this:

My wife has always said that being a baby must be like being on a 24-7 acid trip; nothing makes any sense, things you like make you laugh uncontrollably and bad stuff terrifies the shit out of you.

Is that so different from being an adult?

Almost forgot to be angry at these guys

There are so many legitimate targets of outrage these days, it’s easy to lose track of one or two along the way.

Big Tobacco Court Appeal Up In Smoke – CBS News

(CBS/AP) The Supreme Court on Tuesday threw out a cigarette maker’s appeal of a $79.5 million award to a smoker’s widow, likely signaling the end of a 10-year legal fight over the large payout.

In a one-sentence order, the court left in place a ruling by the Oregon Supreme Court in favor of Mayola Williams. The state court has repeatedly upheld a verdict against Altria Group Inc.’s Philip Morris USA in a fraud trial in 1999.

The judgment has grown to more than $145 million with interest.

Tobacco is a great business to be in, if you don’t mind making your money by causing your customers pain and disease.

I got into an argument once with a guy who claimed there were benefits to smoking. Years later I found out that was true. Apparently smoking reduces the incidence of Alzheimer’s disease. (One half-sarcastic theory is that smokers are less likely to live long enough to get Alzheimer’s.)

At the time the guy’s argument was that smoking calms and focuses the mind. I replied that it might be a better idea to try all the stuff that calms and focuses a person’s mind and doesn’t also rot your body from the inside out.

Comment of the Day

From a MetaFilter post about laughing babies, this:

My wife has always said that being a baby must be like being on a 24-7 acid trip; nothing makes any sense, things you like make you laugh uncontrollably and bad stuff terrifies the shit out of you.