Swine flu nomenclature issue resolved

Since some people are getting pretty aerated about the proper label to put on the current flu outbreak, I have a suggestion.  If it does turn out to be some kind of weird amalgam of swine flu, bird flu and people flu, I propose we call it BrundleFlu.

If you don’t recognize the reference, don’t worry.  Just be afraid.  Very afraid.

Comment of the Day

From a MetaFilter post about laughing babies, this:

My wife has always said that being a baby must be like being on a 24-7 acid trip; nothing makes any sense, things you like make you laugh uncontrollably and bad stuff terrifies the shit out of you.

Is that so different from being an adult?

Almost forgot to be angry at these guys

There are so many legitimate targets of outrage these days, it’s easy to lose track of one or two along the way.

Big Tobacco Court Appeal Up In Smoke – CBS News

(CBS/AP) The Supreme Court on Tuesday threw out a cigarette maker’s appeal of a $79.5 million award to a smoker’s widow, likely signaling the end of a 10-year legal fight over the large payout.

In a one-sentence order, the court left in place a ruling by the Oregon Supreme Court in favor of Mayola Williams. The state court has repeatedly upheld a verdict against Altria Group Inc.’s Philip Morris USA in a fraud trial in 1999.

The judgment has grown to more than $145 million with interest.

Tobacco is a great business to be in, if you don’t mind making your money by causing your customers pain and disease.

I got into an argument once with a guy who claimed there were benefits to smoking. Years later I found out that was true. Apparently smoking reduces the incidence of Alzheimer’s disease. (One half-sarcastic theory is that smokers are less likely to live long enough to get Alzheimer’s.)

At the time the guy’s argument was that smoking calms and focuses the mind. I replied that it might be a better idea to try all the stuff that calms and focuses a person’s mind and doesn’t also rot your body from the inside out.

Comment of the Day

From a MetaFilter post about laughing babies, this:

My wife has always said that being a baby must be like being on a 24-7 acid trip; nothing makes any sense, things you like make you laugh uncontrollably and bad stuff terrifies the shit out of you.

Obama baffles pundits by trying to keep his word

I just heard somebody point out that most of the current criticism of President Obama is based on the fact that he is mostly doing what he promised to do during the campaign.  Details here.

“What I’m telling you now used to be a lie.”

If you don’t read Mark Evanier’s blog, you probably missed his comment about the latest celebrity feud:

I must admit I’ve been enjoying the spat between Jon Stewart and Jim Cramer, partly because it’s funny and partly because Stewart is doing something that doesn’t happen nearly enough in the media today. He’s pointing out when so-called experts were dead wrong. There seems to be no penalty — no recognition, even — when what happens is precisely the opposite of what was predicted. Erroneous punditry is shrugged off, not just by those who make the bad calls but by their peers and even by the viewing public. I believe this is called The William Kristol Syndrome.

Even more than the flu, this syndrome seems to be what’s going around these days. Everywhere I look, people are asking me to believe what they’re telling me now and forget about what they told me before that turned out to be wrong. It’s especially hard to swallow when the speaker is someone whose entire job is to tell you things that you can reliably trust.

The Republicans are taking this to the extreme.  The things they said before that they want you to forget about, that turned out not to be true, are exactly the same things they’re still saying today.  And they act like they still expect you to believe them.

And Mr. Evanier goes on to say:

Mr. Stewart and his crew may be Liberal on most issues but those like Joe Scarborough who think he doesn’t ridicule Democrats and the new White House occupant haven’t been watching the show. (I think some of them are foolishly expecting or hoping to encourage that Obama in his first fifty days be mocked as much as Bush was in his last fifty days.)

I saw Joe “Banjo Boy” Scarborough’s comments.  He thinks The Daily Show is biased in favor of Obama when they’re actually biased against stupid behavior. Based on that, of course they spent more time ridiculing Bush.

It’s easy

It’s easy to keep an optimistic outlook.

It’s easy to maintain a firm grip on reality.

It’s nearly impossible to do both at the same time.

Candygram for Mongo! Sign here, please!

Have you ever wanted to approach a favorite celebrity to ask for an autograph?  Good luck with that, and don’t forget to bring your wallet.  Cartoonist Tom Richmond tells why in his report from the WonderCon fan convention in San Francisco.

Several pretty big names were present signing autographs, including Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher of Star Wars, Adam and a few others. It is unbelievable what these people charge for their scrawls. Mark Hamill was charging $100, but cut you a break for a second signature… that was a mere $90. They also sold pictures and stuff to get signed, which you have to buy as they will charge you more to sign your own item. Carrie Fisher charged only $35.00, but refused to sign anything but her provided pictures at about $50 a pop. Adam [West] was charging $50, but would sign anything for that, and if you wanted you could buy one of his pics but it wasn’t mandatory. In their defense I am sure that some of those items are going to end up on eBay, but still… Mark Hamill and Adam at least went out of their way (from what I saw) to make the purchaser feel like they were appreciated and gave a few moments of interaction with each. I heard Fisher, on the other hand, barely said hello to most and no pictures with her. I guess we all have to make a living, but that’s still a lot of money to charge for a barely legible scribble.

I actually have a lot of respect for Carrie Fisher as a writer; she’s very sharp and funny.  But now I can’t help but wonder if she’s writing those books as a way to promote a lucrative autographing business.

Frankly, I am the most starstruck person I ever heard of.  In theory, I understand the concept of having a normal brief interaction with a celebrity.  In practice, I have been rendered speechless by the unexpected appearance of a random local radio personality.  Sometimes it’s the radio people who get you the most, because often you don’t realize who you’re standing next to until they speak.

Even so, I rarely see the point in asking for an autograph.  I only have a couple, and I didn’t ask for either one.  I got a gift once of a book by a local author and it came already signed.

And I once sent a fan letter to Stephen King and got a typed reply with a signature.  I prefer to believe that he typed it himself, and the signature matches the imprint on some of his books.

Yes, when it comes to well-known personalities I’m a total Kenneth the Page.

90 seconds to wait for popcorn? Forget that!

When I was a kid, comics were old guys who complained about how crazy the world was and how much better things used to be. Now we have Louis CK complaining that “the worst generation” doesn’t appreciate how much better things are now than when he was a kid.

I wonder where the dividing line is between older people like me who think this is hilarious and younger people who think it’s a big plate of geezery sadness.

Release me from your clutches, online humor sites!

Another sign of the coming apocalypse: I’m now getting some of my news from Cracked.com. That’s in addition to getting less political reporting from NPR and more from Comedy Central, at least during the hours when they’re not busy roasting Larry the Cable Guy or presenting sanitized-for-basic-cable versions of direct-to-DVD American Pie sequels.

In any event, Cracked is listing 5 Ways People Are Trying to Save the World (That Don’t Work). I don’t know how carefully they’ve fact-checked this article, but if some of the details are anywhere near the ballpark parking lot they raise some interesting issues. Take this item:

Also, re-using something is not always better than just tossing it away. A chemist at the University of Victoria calculated that you would need to use a ceramic mug 1,000 times before you would see benefits over using disposable polystyrene cups for those 1,000 cups of coffee. This is because it takes far more energy to make that mug and takes energy and water to wash it after each use.

I’m not sure people are ready to carry Saving the Earth to the extent that it begins to affect our basic sanitation needs. There’s a strong argument that the ongoing advance of civilization is based in large part on the human mastery of sanitation.

Besides, George Carlin pointed out years ago that what we call Saving the Planet is really about saving our own asses and having a clean spot to park our Volvos. Okay, so apparently I used to get a lot of my political news from stand-up comedians, but Carlin’s gone now, and I can’t think of another comic who’s quite as smart as he was. Unless maybe it’s Jon Stewart. Unhand me, Comedy Central!