Zombie wasp wreaks havoc

August 10, 2007

I have to tell you about the creepy thing that just happened to me here at work.  I was sitting in my cubicle a little while ago, and I looked up from working and saw a huge fat wasp perched on the wall.  It was moving pretty slowly, so I figured it must be stunned or something, and I had a chance to grab it and smoosh it before it started flying around the office terrorizing everybody.

I grabbed a couple of paper towels, sneaked up on Mr. Wasp and pounced on him.  Then I wadded up the paper towels into a tight little ball (for maximum killage; my sympathy for the natural world does not extend to stinging insects) and threw them in the wastebasket.

Only after I threw it away did it start buzzing loudly, like an electric shaver wrapped in a blanket.  Impossible!  It was dead dead dead, lovingly hand-smooshed by me.  Now I was afraid that he was going to be able to extract himself from his paper-towel coffin and come after me to visit the wrath of the undead upon me.  This I could not allow.

So I took a discarded sandwich bag from the trash, put the paper towels inside and zipped it shut, leaving Wasp-feratu with no means of escape and a limited supply of air.  He continued to buzz for way longer than a dead wasp is entitled to.  Now it’s about 45 minutes later and it sounds like he’s finally given up the waspy ghost.

Anyway, it really creeped me out.  Hope you are the same.