I think we should see other people

People say they love their dogs because dogs are non-judgmental. They love you unconditionally. They don’t care how much money you make. They don’t care if you’re in your underwear, or if you say something stupid, or somehow embarrass yourself.

I don’t know if I ever believed that.

Our Corgi is a couple of years old, and I swear that I’ve seen her plenty of times give me a look that I can only describe as a cross between “Are you crazy?” and “What kind of a dimwit are you?”

Now MSNBC confirms my suspicions, reporting that your pet can be unfaithful or even decide to leave you for greener pastures in a story they call Getting dogged: When your pet cheats on you:

Some upwardly mobile pets may look for another home if they meet someone who has tastier food, more time for affection, better toys or a softer couch.

One bright note to this. Maybe when your pet ran off that time and never came back, he didn’t really get run down in the street or shot by the mean old coot who hates animals. Maybe he got adopted by some rich patron and right now he’s lounging on an overstuffed couch, eating Canine Carry-Outs and feeling sorry for your cheap sandwich-eating no-dog-having ass.

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